We always tend to be aware of everything the little ones are doing in the house. With what purpose? Well, with preventing them from hurting themselves, reaching for objects they shouldn’t or falling down the stairs, etc. But although all this would mean great physical pain, we must also protect them from internal pain . For this reason, there are a series of phrases that offend many.
Although most of the time we say them unconsciously, we must try not to let the anger come over us. There are phrases that it is better not to say to children, because they heal and cause them a lot of emotional damage. If the situation exceeds us, we must ask to ask and prevent it from happening again. Next, we will explain a series of phrases that you must write down, eliminate from your vocabulary and never say to your children again!
- 1 Phrases that hurt your children: ‘You are like your mother/father!’
- 2 ‘I told you so’
- 3 ‘Learn from your brother’
- 4 ‘I Punish You’
- 5 “When I was your age I used to smoke/drink/do drugs”
- 6 ‘It’s Just A Little White Lie’
- 7 ‘I’m Sick Of You’
- 8 “You are mean, stupid, useless…”
- 9 ‘Don’t Cry, It’s Not That Bad’
- 10 ‘Study or you won’t achieve anything in life’
Phrases that hurt your children: ‘You are like your mother/father!’
Using this line on your child not only lets them know that what they are doing is wrong, it makes them feel like they inherited it from a parent and that they are not responsible for their actions. It also informs your child about complaints you have with his other parent, which makes him feel a bit divided. Instead, try saying, “I’m not happy with x because x.” Because otherwise the comparisons come to light and always negative. Which makes them not feel good at all and that they stay with the negative part of the sentence.
‘I told you’
This is the last thing anyone wants to hear when something goes wrong. Yes, you may be right about what you warned your child about, but comforting him instead of throwing it in his face will make him feel more open to talking to you in the future. It is to be insisted once again that those around him knew that this moment of reproach would come, except for the person concerned himself. It seems that it is the typical sentence of absolute failure and that is how the smallest of the house can feel. Something we don’t want to happen because we need them to always have a high self-esteem. Instead, you can say something like, “I’m sorry it happened, but you’ll learn from it.”
‘Learn from your brother’
It’s a phrase that the vast majority of us have heard at some point. Because those who had no siblings had to listen to the comparison with cousins or close friends . Something that undoubtedly made the listener very sad. It has always been said that comparisons are odious and such an expression would not have hit the nail on the head. They can generate different rivalries, in addition to lowering self-esteem, because he can suffer when he is told that. When they are compared to a sibling or someone else, it makes them feel like they are not enough. Instead, try not to compare your child to others to convince him to do something.
‘I punish you’
It is true that it is one of those phrases that we can say when other ways do not work for bad behavior. Therefore, when we are really tired or angry, such words come out of our mouths. But if we think about it, they will only generate more fear. Which leads them to end up doing what we want but because they fear us. Surely it is not what you want in your family life. Although on the other hand, if we say it and do not comply, the children also believe that there are no real consequences, but that generating fear continues to be the main protagonist. That of: If you don’t behave, you don’t have a birthday present!You always gave him something when the day came. This form of blackmail will not benefit at all. So, try to put more real solutions and practice with the example because we are your mirror.
“When I was your age I used to smoke/drink/do drugs”
It is not always best to tell your children about certain experiences because they may think that they will be spared the consequences if they do it themselves. The “but you said x when you were my age” will bother you again and again . Instead, try to talk to your children about the consequences of smoking, drinking or taking drugs. So remember that it’s okay to tell them about your adolescence or adulthood, but try to make it completely different details or events than those mentioned.
‘It’s just a little white lie’
Once kids are familiar with the term “little white lie,” they think it’s okay to do it all the time. Instead of trying to explain when it’s okay to use white lies to be polite and not hurt someone’s feelings. Before the lines between the lies and the little white for them blurred. We must always make it clear to them that the truth goes everywhere and that lies have very short legs. So there is no avenue to enter. Whether pious or not. One of the sentences to clarify thoroughly!
‘I’m sick of you’
It’s true that a boy or girl can have behavior that makes us tired because they don’t pay attention to us, for example. So our anger can increase greatly. But when we come to a sentence like this, the impact on the little ones in the house is brutal. Because for a few seconds they feel that they are worthless, that we really suffer them, and that is a very important impact. So, we have to control the anger and talk clearly with it. You can tell them that you are fed up with the situation, but not with them.
“You are mean, stupid, useless…”
All these insults must be out of our vocabulary. Because if we really think about it, they are words or phrases with very negative connotations and which destroy the self-esteem of any boy or girl. These will believe that they have all those qualities and instead of changing, they will adopt them because their father or mother told them so. So, we have to focus on what they need to change, tell them what they did wrong and help them make that change with different alternatives . Starting with the positive things, we will always have a better result.
‘Don’t cry, it’s not that bad’
What if it is for them? Who are we to fight their feelings? We already know that there are little ones who are more sentimental than others, and that is not bad, on the contrary. We need to let them show their thoughts and if they need us, let them know that we are there with all our support. Only in this way will we ensure that they do not hide their feelings, because they are used to letting them out and that no one blames them.
‘Study or you will achieve nothing in life’
The problem with grades has always generated many arguments at home with parents . For this reason, when the tension came in the notes, expressions like the ones mentioned were quite common. What made the sadness double: for the words and for the notes. The boy or girl feels inferior and truly worthless. Therefore, we need to reinforce learning, help them achieve it and look for other alternative ways. How many of these phrases have you said at least once?