How to achieve better communication in the relationship?

In 2019, there were almost 10,000 couples who separated in Norway, an increasing number since the previous year. There is no one-size-fits-all solution on how to save the relationship. Nevertheless, it is possible to build an understanding around which needs lie deep within us humans, and which factors often lead to problems in the relationship. One of these is a lack of communication.

Communication is one of the most important factors in a couple’s relationship. With this article, we want to give you an insight into the role communication plays in the relationship. Hopefully you will also get some useful tips on how you can contribute to improving communication between you.

How to talk about feelings with your boyfriend?

Communication is at the root of how we understand the world and ourselves in it. We communicate with all that we are, all that we utter or omit to utter. Therefore, communication is often the key to both problems in the relationship and the solutions to the problems. Regardless of what your relationship lacks, the most important thing we can do to arrive at a solution is to communicate with our partner . So what does communication actually entail?

When you speak, you only repeat what you already know. But if you listen, you might learn something new.

– Joseph Patrick McEvoy, Author, 1897 – 1958

Communication in a relationship does not necessarily just mean that we talk openly about our own feelings. It also means that we open ourselves up to be able to listen to their feelings and concerns in the relationship. A lack of communication often starts with one or both parties closing themselves off from the other, and making themselves emotionally unavailable. A ripple effect occurs when one party does not feel heard or understood. Those who feel this often make the situation worse by shutting themselves out even more. This is how it can occur


Can a lack of communication cause ongoing cohabitation problems?

Some people may have such routine lives that everyday life goes on, regardless of communication. Problems in the relationship will not disappear by themselves. There are some factors that are repeated in a lack of communication, such as lack of time, unresolved misunderstandings, fear of the other person’s reaction, different needs, etc. Fortunately, none of these factors mean that the relationship is doomed to failure, but it is important to understand that lack of communication is something that needs to be worked on and maintained. It must be strengthened, adapted and facilitated.

All people develop as long as we live. The needs and expectations we have for our relationship are therefore not the same over the course of our lives either. We change our ambitions and understanding of life. For many, the change is so gradual that we don’t even notice it ourselves. Nevertheless, we often expect our partners to constantly keep up to date on our changing life dreams and relationship expectations. Therefore, communication in the relationship is one of the most important things in order to build a solid cohabitation where both parties develop in step.

How to achieve better communication in the relationship?

It is not easy to improve communication in a relationship. It is something that both parties must actively commit to doing together, and it is important to know that things take time. And not least to have patience. Start by taking small steps together , and it starts with the intention. As soon as you agree to work on the communication in the relationship, you both agree on one thing. So start celebrating this. Make it a celebration that you have a common desire to stay in the relationship together, and to finally do something active to change the course.

Next, it is important to share feelings without being interrupted by the other. By creating space for free expression, you can in time create a sense of security in who you are with your partner. There are many exercises here that you can do together to get it all started.

To improve communication between you and your partner, it can also be useful to talk to a cohabitation therapist . You can either do this together through couples therapy , or individually. It is often easier to look at a problem holistically when you explain it to others. In addition, a professional skilled worker has useful experience and insight that can facilitate a more targeted process .