How to deal with a narcissist?

How to deal with a narcissist? There is no clear-cut answer to this question. That is because you will most likely encounter narcissists in many different contexts in life.

It can be, for example, a narcissistic lover , mother, friend, manager at work, or even children. What can be particularly painful and lead to mental disorders among those who associate with narcissists is if you have a narcissist in the family .

A narcissist can make you doubt everything about yourself. Their goal is to weaken your self-esteem , so that they can feel better about themselves. But if something were to threaten or be perceived as harmful to their own self-image, you will most likely experience an outbreak of narcissistic rage . Anger is their most used weapon to weaken others.

Regardless of whether you experience narcissistic rage or whether there are other signs of narcissism that affect you in your everyday life, it can be difficult to know how to deal with a narcissist. That is why it is important to have good and useful tools with you in everyday life, and throughout the rest of your life.

In this article, you will get lots of advice and tips on how to deal with a narcissist in different types of context.

How to deal with a narcissist as a lover?

A narcissist is a master at manipulating those around him or her. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist , you may have great difficulty in seeing for yourself that it is the other party who is at the root of problems in the relationship or that you do not feel good about yourself.

He or she may manipulate you into feeling that everything is your fault. They believe that they themselves never make mistakes. At the same time, he or she may require large amounts of attention and constant confirmation. Jealousy is a very common personality trait of narcissists.

But how can you really deal with a narcissist as a lover? As a rule, it will not be useful to try to have a logical discussion with the person concerned. However, it can help with expert help from outside, for example with individual therapy .

Unfortunately, the best advice is to get away as soon as possible. This can be a difficult choice to make, but in the long run and with distance from the narcissistic lover, you will be able to see that this will be the best solution for yourself.


Living with a narcissist in the family

Having a narcissist in the family can destroy the whole family system. Narcissism is not something that is most typical of one of the sexes. Therefore, both mother, father or child can be a narcissist.

In the worst cases, it can lead to the various family members developing bad relationships with each other, and the family being dissolved . A narcissist can set the whole mood for the home, and it can be difficult to be yourself in your own home.

When mother is a narcissist

When a mother is a narcissist, this can be particularly devastating for a child’s upbringing. Because women, biologically speaking, are often better at showing care than men, the child or children will really lose a large part of what constitutes a healthy upbringing.

Narcissists are more concerned with themselves than anyone else, which can lead to emotional neglect of children. This can lead to trauma afterwards, which often results in adulthood.

A narcissistic mother can also cause the other family members to develop a bad relationship with each other, as well as with the mother. This is because it will always be difficult to satisfy the narcissist’s high expectations and demands. Therefore, the children may never feel good enough, while at the same time feeling they have to compete with their siblings to be the smartest in order to win their mother’s positive attention.

In addition, as a narcissist, she can also demand that she herself gets all the attention . As a rule, she does not want to let others shine, and praise can be completely absent and rarely expressed.

How to deal with your narcissistic mother or father

Something you can try on your own is to express that you do not accept the treatment you are experiencing. You can try to criticize the narcissist’s unfair statements or actions, but then it is important that you focus on the actual action, and not on the person. If you were to hurt a narcissistic parent, it would only make the situation worse.

You can also try to make the person feel better about themselves. Narcissists are often very insecure or not happy with themselves. With concrete praise when they deserve it , you can help them build better self-esteem.

If you who are reading this understand that your psychological challenges are due to growing up, you would do well to seek help and therapy to process your painful memories from childhood.


Does a child near you have narcissistic parents?

As a child, it will be difficult to understand that something is wrong or that a parent is narcissistic. A child adapts to the situation and the abnormal becomes normal. If you as an adult experience that a child is exhibiting unhealthy behaviour, it is wise to investigate what the cause may be.

It is important that you try to help the child . Ask how he is doing and feel free to contact other adults in the child’s vicinity, such as a health nurse, the child’s teacher or nursery staff. Remember that if you talk to the child about how he is doing at home, he will most likely be loyal to his parents and normalize what is happening.

How to deal with a narcissistic child?

When a child becomes narcissistic , this may be due to the parents’ great attempts to promote their own child in every context.

Most parents only want the best for their children, which is both natural and healthy. But when parents start to see their own child as better than everyone else, this can have very negative consequences for the child, and not just the environment.

As parents, it is important to be aware of your behavior towards your child . You should of course praise them and build up a healthy self-esteem, but it may be wise not to brag freely without also praising others, because it creates unrealistic expectations and imaginations in the child.

Try to teach the child humanity, care for others and that everyone is equally valuable as an individual, regardless of achievements. This is also important to remember for staff at nurseries or schools, coaches at sports or other adults who are in contact with children.

A narcissistic friend can lower your self-esteem

It can really be destructive to a friendship when you have a narcissistic friend. It may not always be the case that you are as close to a friend as you are to family members. Because of that, it can be extra difficult to talk about such things.

Even if you are very fond of your friend, a friendship with a narcissist will eat away at your own self-esteem and confidence . Your girlfriend may demand all the attention all the time, without you giving in. Or maybe she is manipulating you to turn against others.

In any case, such a friendship will in the long run only lead to you being drained of energy .

How do you deal with her?

A good piece of advice would be to ask how she really feels . Although a narcissist will rarely admit to faults or shortcomings in themselves, your friend may be carrying around painful memories from childhood or other things that led them to develop this personality disorder.

But it is also possible that you will get nowhere with this. Then you can consider whether you should directly address the areas you perceive as problematic . Be aware that this can be taken very badly. But to save the friendship it may be the only option.

If that doesn’t work either, consider whether you’re better off without this person in your life. Or whether you should limit your time with her.

Meeting the narcissist at work

It can be extra difficult to have a narcissistic manager at work. A clear characteristic of narcissists in a work context is that they are power hungry, difficult to work with and that they protect their own ego well.

Being in contact with a narcissist in a work context can really damage the joy of work. They may try to insult you or put you in a bad light in other people’s hearings. This can lead to such great dissatisfaction that you may consider giving up.

But before you do, try following these tips on how to deal with a narcissist at work :

  • Avoid public discussions.
  • Show a high degree of self-confidence and show that you are not someone they can pick on.
  • Try not to reactif he or she tries to insult you.

Get help dealing with the narcissist

How to deal with a narcissist when you feel like you’ve tried everything you can? As written in several of the cases above, it can often be better to actually live a life without this person.

But sometimes this is not an option. Then you should seek help to cope with the situation and the narcissist in your life.

A therapist will be able to help you find the right tools to help you deal with the narcissist. At the same time, the therapist can help you see your life from a new perspective. A life where you yourself are in the driver’s seat of your own happiness.

Don’t let a narcissist control your life in a negative direction. Seek therapy today to get out of unhealthy relationships in your life.