How to get better self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can reduce your quality of life and prevent you from being yourself, or from making the choices in life that you want and need to be happy. It is possible to improve self-esteem, and it can often be a good idea to get help and guidance. In this article, we go through how you can improve your self-esteem and give you suggestions on techniques that can help you with this.

Self-esteem is about how you emotionally perceive yourself  in relation to others. It is also about what thoughts you yourself have about your own worth and whether you dare to try and at the same time fail . Making mistakes or admitting your weaknesses without this having anything to do with how you perceive yourself is part of having good self-esteem. Both genetics and the social upbringing environment will be decisive for the development of self-esteem. It is usually established in childhood.

The difference between self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image

The terms self-esteem, self-esteem and self-image are often confused. It is not necessarily the right thing to do, because these three concepts encompass different parts of the self . Self-confidence is about the belief one has in one’s own abilities to perform things or one’s own level of knowledge. It is possible to have good self-esteem , but a poor self-esteem.

Self-image, on the other hand, is about what thoughts you have about yourself, often based on what feedback you have received from others. The self-image is then good or bad depending on the feedback one has received on one’s own actions and statements.

With the explanation above, it is clear that self -esteem is not the same as self-confidence and self-image. Self-esteem is about how you perceive your own worth. At the same time, it involves seeing the value of being exactly who you are, as well as how well you know yourself.

Characteristics of low self-esteem

It is common for everyone to experience situations or periods of low self-esteem. These are feelings that can constantly fluctuate and where you quickly lose heart. If you are a person with low self-esteem , you will usually not recognize your own value in relation to other people you associate with.

If these feelings take over, this can interfere with the enjoyment of life. In the worst case, it can affect your social life, and you can end up isolating yourself or, quite the opposite, appearing pretentious and taking up a lot of space. If this happens, it’s really important that you find out what you can do to feel better about yourself.

Do you often experience an inner battle with yourself? That you have the right values ​​and know who you are on the inside, but that you are unable to express it in interaction with others. This is a sure sign of low self-esteem . In other cases of low self-esteem, you may not know what you want or what values ​​you should act on.

Weak self-esteem can, in the worst case, lead to more serious mental disorders such as anxiety or depression . In others, it can be expressed through narcissistic personality traits. How low self-esteem is expressed will be very individual and must therefore also be treated accordingly. The various techniques presented below on how to improve self-esteem can be a good help in the treatment.


How self-esteem develops

As explained at the beginning of the article, the basic framework of self-esteem is already established in childhood. For children, it will be difficult to improve their self-esteem on their own. It is about being seen and recognized by adults with a safe framework who show understanding for the child’s feelings.

When a child experiences that one’s feelings are understood , and at the same time feels that it is safe to express oneself in social settings, they themselves gain a good perception of one’s own being on the inside. They take this with them to other social contexts. It is important to give children good care, because it is not always possible to provide a perfect upbringing.

Although everyone forms the basis of self-esteem during childhood, it will always be developing . Safety in various situations will usually be influenced by who you associate with and what situations you face. It will most likely be like this throughout life. But there are techniques you can learn to improve your self-esteem.

Techniques for better self-esteem

When you feel uncomfortable in a social situation because your self-esteem is not at its best, there are techniques you can use to counteract this. This can both help you in the given situation, and improve your self-esteem in the long term.

The first thing you can do is acknowledge the reactions you experience, when you notice that your self-esteem is low and you are unable to express yourself the way you want. Next, it is important that you practice trying to convey what you feel and mean in different situations. It is important to create a sense of security for yourself.

It is important not to judge yourself for the reactions that occur. It is easy to end up in a very self-critical spiral and think the worst about yourself, because you have not acted or expressed yourself as you wanted to. This also applies in relation to reactions you experience in others, for example if someone blushes. Rather, try to be curious about the bodily reactions and be open to exploring why they occur.

You should also try to turn your attention from within yourself to the outside and your surroundings. When you feel confident in yourself, it becomes easier to create equal relationships. By being absorbed in a situation, a topic of conversation, an issue, hobby or work, you direct a genuine commitment to the topic itself and forget to think about what is going on inside your own head. This way you become more present in any social setting.

Get a better sense of self already today

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, you should address it as soon as possible. The techniques above will be a good start in working to improve your self-esteem, and if you need guidance you can consider talking to a therapist. With better self-esteem you can create a better life for yourself and those you love.

In order to be the best version of yourself, it is important that you see your own worth. At the same time, self-esteem is important to be able to pay enough and correct attention to others around you. It is therefore advisable that you take care of your own self-esteem and work to improve it.