Sexpress can be a difficult topic both to understand and to explain. Many people believe that sex is something that leads to rape. In some cases this is unfortunately the case, but there is also much more behind the word sexpress. It is therefore important to focus on these gray areas. Many people experience sexual harassment at work and in social contexts, and some also experience it in relationships. We will take a closer look at what this entails.
Where does one experience sexpress, and who experiences sexpress?
There are many scenarios where you can experience sex-express, and we will look at three specific situations:
Youth, working life and cohabitation/relationships.
Adolescence:
During adolescence, it can feel confusing and difficult with all the changes that happen to the body. In addition to this, there can also be pressure in groups of friends to have sex. On the government’s website , it is mentioned that both girls and boys can feel pressure to perform sexual acts, both physically, but also by sending nude photos to others. Furthermore, rejeringen.no describes that girls often think that this is what is expected of them. They often think that this is how they are liked by their partner. Boys may be pressured by friends not to be the last one not to have sex. Many people find that being a boy and a man requires you to have sex.
Although many people often think that sex is exclusively a physical act, you can also experience sex psychologically. By being persistent towards another person who does not want the attention, you are exercising sexpress against that person. When you continue with unwanted comments, stares or other forms of attention, this can become a psychological burden for the person concerned.
This type of mental sex expression can be a problem in working life, and we will look at that more here:
Sex at work in adulthood:
According to Store Medisinske Leksikon , sex at work has proven to be a growing problem, and in some cases the trade union has had to focus on this. A survey in 2013 carried out by the National Monitoring of the Working Environment and Health and Statistics Norway showed that 3.4 per cent of Norwegian workers were exposed to unwanted sexual attention at least once a month. Furthermore, 12% of young women had experienced sexual harassment at least once a month, while the figure was 2% for men.
Store Medisinske Leksikon (SML) explains this behavior pattern on a more evolutionary and historical level.
Historically, it has been men who have dominated working life, and according to SML there has been a power play between the sexes. This has meant that men have exposed women to sexual harassment, and that this is something they have an idea that women like – because it gives them confirmation, and makes them feel attractive. Women, on the other hand, who historically have been assigned the role of “delicate and decent”, have resisted the sexual expression when it has been possible, and thus known a form of power, by the very act of resisting.
The problem with this power play is that it does not fit into the society we know today. Men and women must be treated equally in working life. We expect sexual energy to be able to be shared between people of the same sex, and is not the exclusive right of a man to a woman. There should also be no need to show dominance in working life by exposing someone to sexpress, or to let someone expose you to sexpress, in order to achieve goals and be successful.
But sex at work is still a problem. Why?
Society changes quickly, and our instincts, brain, habits and actions often lag a little behind. Our primal urinary instincts can often take longer to change than the world we live in does. By understanding this, one can begin to change the perspective one has on sex and sex-express. You can try to be conscious in your choice of actions and comments to colleagues, and to ask yourself if you are consciously performing sexpress to achieve a goal.
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Sexpress in a relationship:
Another form of sexpress is what you can experience with a partner . Because even if sex in youth also involves relationships, it is often about performing, being accepted in a group, and not standing out in a vulnerable time. In an adult relationship where you are confident in each other, sex may still occur, even if you do not feel the same insecurity as in adolescence.
In cohabitation, one may experience that there are different needs for sex. One may want to have more and more frequent sex than the other. In such cases, communication is important, and it is important to make sure that you stick to the heart of the matter. There can be a lot of emotions in such situations. You can start pointing the finger at whose fault it is, who is behaving badly, and who is abnormal. Here it is wise to put all this away, as nothing constructive will come of this. Instead, choose to talk about how you can solve it. Here, couples therapy can be a solution if it feels challenging to put the situation into words.
At the same time, it is important to note that, in the same way as in working life, sexpress can be carried out psychologically. Playing on your conscience, denying the other person sex as punishment after an argument, agreeing to have sex when you really don’t want to, or having sex to keep a good mood, are all actions that can be experienced as sex. The first step out of this pattern should therefore be to practice talking together.
Media, porn and sex-express
We have seen that evolutionary and historical reasons play a role in people’s use of sexpress. But there are also other factors that contribute to making it more difficult to actually break out of old behavioral habits. In the media, you can often see sexualisation of bodies, tributes to idealized beauty and an outdated way of perceiving gender and gender roles.
In addition to this, pornography is more accessible than ever. Regjeringen.no describes that this is often something many explore already at the end of primary school. Having a perception that sex is the way you look at porn can help maintain sex expressions both in adolescence, at work and in cohabitation. It is therefore important to talk about porn, and what it really is.
What can you do?
Focus on communication in all arenas is important. We live in an age where almost all information is available online at all times. It is therefore important to talk to young people about sex, gender and gender roles, as well as about porn and what this is and can do to you.
In the workplace, it is important to talk about experiences you have had that have been unpleasant. In recent years, we have seen an increasing, positive trend in just this. In a relationship, it may be a good idea to practice talking about topics that may be uncomfortable, and to be honest with each other.
There is no doubt that these are topics that can be difficult for many to talk about. Fortunately, more and more attention is being paid to this, and many are working hard to maintain a positive development. We at Terapivakten offer therapy at home or via video calls, both for couples, families and individuals who need help talking about sensitive topics. It’s never wrong – or too early – to ask for help.
